I remember when I was 8 years old and trying to convince my self that I should learn to like roller coasters.  For some reason, I always got my self all worked up thinking that maybe something bad was going to happen.  The result was always the same.  I loved the ride and wanted to go on the next ride.  I remember one time, waiting in line, feeling apprehensive, and not sure if I wanted to turn around and get out of the line because I was too frightened.  I got the courage to stay, and when it was my turn, “What are you waiting for!?!” was all I could hear from the impatient and excited little boy behind me.  So I got on.  I got in.  I got right back out.  I was frozen in place, I was terrified.  I knew I looked as white as a ghost because I could feel the sensation of passing out slowly enveloping me.  Everyone was staring.  I could see the frustration in their eyes.  I am sure many were thinking “What’s wrong with that girl?  Why doesn’t she get on the damn ride and stop holding up the line!?!”  My brow was wet.  My legs were trembling but I somehow mustered up the courage to get back in the roller coaster car.  I pulled down the lap bar and waited.  My hands were sweating.  My heart was racing like it was ready to blast out of my chest.

As we began to move, I kept saying to myself, over and over, “Is it too late to get off?”  “Can I really do this” “Can I holler out stop the ride?”  Even at such an early age, I wasn’t the type of individual that liked to give up or fail.  I didn’t then, nor do I now, give myself limits.  So, all the way back then, not knowing who I’d become, I decided to stay on.  I watched as we began to ascend the giant hill.  All the way up I was panicking.  My eyes were clenched tight and my hands gripped the bar like I was in serious pain.  I felt us slow down as we approached the top of the hill and slowly, I opened my eyes.  Glancing around, I saw that everyone waiting anxiously for us to drop.  I knew that going down would bring on a whole new sensation.  It would be completely different from the nauseous feeling of getting on the ride.  I remember feeling strangely exhilarated.  I felt so alive with the breeze caressing my face as we raced down the track.  Every new hill renewed my feelings of weightlessness and rising elation.  I threw my arms in the air and lifted myself as far out from under the bar as it would allow.  I surrendered to the ride, consumed, alive and free.

So here we go, it’s November 16, 2002.  I am completely ready for the rush of feelings that this nude photo shoot would bring.  The thought of lying naked in front of the camera brought me back to my childhood memories.  A time when my fears and insecurities invaded my head and weighed heavily on my heart.  The excitement of riding a roller coaster aroused so many different sensations. I knew that I was nervous then, as I am now, but the end result produced so many exhilarating feelings that  I know I have the confidence to shoot nude.  I have wanted to this for some time.  Waiting for Ricardo to release me from my fears was like waiting in line for my first roller coaster ride.  My palms are sweaty.  My legs are trembling.   My brow is wet and my heart is racing.  I feel as if I am about to be playing a song only for me to hear.  A song of freedom, a freedom finally enjoyed.  When I first walked in the room I felt the same pressure that I felt when the line diminished and it was it was my turn to take that plunge.  With the scene set and everyone ready to roll I relived the anxiety of slowly inching my way to the top of the first hill.  The first flash was an exciting rush of emotions. A loss of a feeling of control.  I’ve never imagined such intensity.  Never achieved such an explosion of feelings.  The ultimate turn on.  At each click and whirr of his camera, the moment becomes more intense.  With each flash, I experience a weightless, worriless feeling where all my fears came together to be unleashed from their cage.  The only thing that I could compared to this was that first roller coaster ride.  All of it’s ups and downs made my fears turn to enjoyment.  I am amazed at how natural I feel as I lay naked, exposed and vulnerable yet completely free.  It’s as though all my worries were undeserved as I have been released.  Ricardo’s right here with me, but it’s almost as if I were alone.  My awareness of the camera becomes vague.  My insecurities drift into in the wind just as my screams did on that first ride.  I left my fears of the unknown to haunt someone else as I now only craved another ride on my new found freedom.
-by Anonymous